GGF - Isn't It Ironic, It's Always Been You
by Brown Eyes Parker
Summary: Anne realized that she loved Gilbert too on a stormy day in early summer. Green Gables Fables verse. Shirbert.


Anne realized that she loved Gilbert too on a stormy day in early summer. It hit her like a ton of bricks along with the news that he was dying of complications from pneumonia. She felt cold and numb and like everything around her had gotten ten decibels higher. She was sick to her stomach and praying to everything that was holy it wasn't true.

But she knew in her heart that it _was_ true and she was afraid that she would spend the rest of her life with the weight of unspoken love pressing against her tongue and dying to spill out.

There was a clap of thunder overhead and then the rain started to come pouring down.

"Anne, dear!" Mrs. Lynde called from the kitchen. "Do you mind helping me close the windows?"

"Of-of course not, Mrs. Lynde!" Anne replied hoarsely, surprised she could even speak past the lump in her throat.

"Anne. . ." Mrs. Lynde said, coming in and looking at her. "Are you quite alright, dear?"

"I'm fine," Anne tried to assure her as she started to close windows and lock them.

Mrs. Lynde looked at her sympathetically. "You know, don't you?"

"I know? Know _what_?" Anne asked.

"Oh Anne. . ." Mrs. Lynde said.

"I don't want to talk about it," Anne told her. "If I say it aloud then it'll make it real and I can't. . . I can't do that, Mrs. Lynde!"

"Oh Lord," Mrs. Lynde said. "How did you find out?"

Anne motioned to her phone. "Social media," she whispered.

"Oh Lord," Mrs. Lynde repeated, exasperated. "Doesn't _anybody_ respect people's privacy these days!? Anne. Anne you need to listen to me, dear. They've gotten him the best medical care _possible_. Everything's been done."

Anne shook her head, tears threatened to spill over her cheeks but she wouldn't cry. Not in front of Rachel Lynde, even though she was sure the older woman would have nothing but sympathy for her.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she said. "If you need me, I'll be in my room."

"Anne, maybe it would be best if you stayed with me! You shouldn't be alone right now!" Mrs. Lynde said. "Marilla will be home soon! Oh dear."

Anne closed the door to her bedroom and paced back and forth for a little bit before turning on some music (something sad to match her mood) and lying down on her bed. That's when the tears came. There was one or two at first and then they matched the downpour outside.

She covered her eyes with her right arm and her mouth with her left hand. She had been so rude to Gilbert, so blind. This had to be her punishment for her ignorance. . . losing him before she had even gotten the chance to have him. To read him Tennyson by moonlight or say words of love to him and have words of love spoken back to her. She would never get the chance to apologize or know what his mouth tasted like.

Anne gave a shuddery sigh and cried even harder. There was a knock on her door and she stopped for a second.

"Anne, its Marilla! Rachel told me what happened! I think we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk about it!" Anne said again. "Why doesn't anybody get _that_!?"

"Talking about it doesn't make it any less real!" Marilla said as she opened the door and came in, sitting down next to Anne on the bed and touching her knee. "Dear heart."

Anne sat up and fell into Marilla's arms. "I've been so blind, Marilla. _So blind_ and now it's too late."

"Now, who are you to play God?" Marilla asked. "It isn't too late yet. He's got the Blythe constitution working in his favor."

"What if he doesn't get better and I never get to tell him? Marilla, he doesn't even have an inkling how I really feel about him. He thinks I'm in love with Roy. You've been watching my videos, you know how foolish I've been."

"You can't dwell on it," Marilla said, wiping Anne's cheeks as fresh tears trailed down them. "Dwelling on the past isn't going to help him get better and it isn't good for you either, you know."

Anne blew a long breath out of her mouth and didn't say anything because she couldn't find the words. She was already worn out, already incredibly heartsick. This was a book of Revelations she could do without.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything," Marilla told her. "Try and get some rest."

Rest. How was Anne going to do something practical like _rest_? She didn't think she would be able to sleep, never mind rest until she got word that Gilbert was going to make it and even then, she wasn't sure sleep wouldn't be a distant memory until she got the chance to tell him how she felt.

Until she heard him say that he still felt the same way about her.

She released another sigh and laid down again, staring at the ceiling and praying that maybe God would let Gilbert live as a fresh batch of tears started to fall down her cheeks.

Anne forced herself to get up the next morning even though every muscle in her body protested everything in her said to stay under the covers and wallow in her sorrow. She looked in the mirror and was not at all taken aback by her appearance. She almost looked like a ghost.

But a ghost is what she felt like, so she left it alone, only taking time to put her hair up in a messy bun because she was too heartsick to take the time to take proper care of it.

She went downstairs where Marilla and Mrs. Lynde made a fuss over her and didn't try to get her to talk to them.

Anne stared into her cup of herbal tea and knew that they knew by the way they were looking at her.

"I think I need to go visit him," she announced after a spell.

"Anne. . ." Marilla trailed off.

"Anne dear, I don't think that would be a good idea. . ." Mrs. Lynde said firmly, looking at Marilla helplessly.

"I _have_ to go," Anne said, not bothering to drink the rest of her tea. "I need to see him, talk to him. . . I won't spend the rest of my life wondering about the _what ifs_! I _can't_ live like that!"

"He might not be able to talk to you," Marilla warned. "Don't go there expecting to make some grand declaration of love or get one from him. You might only be disappointed if you do that Anne. "

"I won't," Anne promised her pulse picking up a little bit. "I _swear_ I won't Marilla! I just _need_ to see him."

Marilla sighed reluctantly.

"Oh let her go, Marilla!" Mrs. Lynde said even though she was just as opposed to the idea as her best friend was. "Who knows? It might do him some good to see her. Or at least _hear_ her voice."

"Please Marilla?" Anne begged. "I won't wear out my welcome and I'll come right home if they won't let me see him. No sneaking or manipulation, I promise!"

"He's at Avonlea Hospital," Marilla finally relented, not even tacking on a word of caution at the end.

Anne nodded and barely got ready before dashing out into the stormy morning with a sense of purpose. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever and finally she was there. She went inside with only the fear of what she was going to find when she got to Gilbert's room.

She got a visitor's pass and asked what floor he was on. They were helpful, told her exactly where he was but told her that she wouldn't be able to see him since she wasn't family.

Anne snuck into his room when nobody was looking. He was hooked up to what seemed like a dozen machines and his eyes were closed. She sucked in a deep breath and went over to see him, took the seat next to his hospital bed and placed a hand over his cold, IV'd one.

She stared at him for the longest time and took another deep breath. "Gilbert, it's me. . . Anne. I don't know if you can hear me or not. . . I really hope you can hear me because you need to know. . . because I _want_ you to know that I love you and I don't know what I'd do without you. I am being extremely selfish here but I couldn't bear it if you left me alone. Please Gil. . . _please_ get better!" She squeezed his hand and wiped away her tears with her other one. "I should have realized it a long time ago, it's you. . . it's _always_ been you. I know you're probably tired but I need you to fight. Please Gilbert. . . _please_. . ."

"Hey! What are you doing in here!? You aren't supposed to be in here, young lady!"

Anne nodded and didn't look at the person scolding her. "I know. I was just leaving."

 **.**

"Anne, Anne!" Marilla called up the stairs. "Anne come here now!"

Anne came out of her room, slowly and with dread filling her to her very core. "Is it Gilbert?"

Marilla nodded. "Yes."

"Is-is he. . ." Anne couldn't bring herself to finish her question, it was too dreadful to comprehend.

"He's going to make it Anne!" Marilla assured her. "He's going to make it!"

Anne closed her eyes when she heard the news before she broke down again, Marilla came up the stairs to hold her while she wept with relief.

 **.**

Anne was sitting on the porch reading poetry when Gilbert came to see her a few weeks later. He was the boy she had always known, healthy and handsome and whole. She stood up and went to meet him at the gate.

"Gil," she said, not taking her eyes off of him for a second because she had dreamed of this moment for weeks and she didn't want him to disappear.

"Anne," he answered, staring right back at her.

"I'm so glad you got better Gilbert," Anne told him when he didn't say anything else. "I was really afraid for you until we heard you were over the worse."

"I don't know what it was, I just decided I wasn't going to let it win," Gilbert answered. "How about we go for a walk, Anne? Just like old times."

"I don't have much time, I have to be at Diana's bachelorette party in an hour," Anne replied but she opened the gate and fell into step with him anyways. "We can go for a short one."

"Anne," Gilbert said when they had reached their bridge.

"Yes?" Anne asked, turning to look at him hopefully.

"What would you say if I told you that I still loved you? That I'd never stopped? I don't care if you're still in love with Roy, I'll wait for you forever."

"Oh Gilbert," Anne said, taking his hands. "You silly boy. I don't love Roy. I never did. I came to see you when you were in the hospital, to tell you. . . you have to know. . . you had to have heard me." 

"I thought I'd dreamed it," Gilbert admitted.

"It wasn't a dream," Anne told him. "I love you too and I'm sorry it took you so long to realize it."

Gilbert laughed in relief and then leaned into kiss her. It was everything chaste and gentle and sweet. But it was a promise of everything to come and Anne could hardly wait.

 **_The End_**

 **Author's Note:**

 **The title is a paraphrase of the 1975 song, "You". The original lyric is** _ **and it's so ironic how it's only been a year**_ **. I misheard what the singer said and the title had already stuck when I looked up the actual lyrics.**

 **I don't even know what I did here. I started to write this well over a week ago and then the video on Wednesday happened and I low key wanted Anne to worry about Gilbert. So, this story was born.**

 **I have ideas for more. I will probably post them sporadically throughout the season. Especially if people liked this one. I hope you will tell me what you thought of this, even if you just leave kudos.**

 **Until Next Time!**

 **Holly, 1/3/2016_**


End file.
